Mr. Taylor’s November Tidbits

Tips for Helping your Child Manage Meltdowns after School!

Our students are working hard to navigate the ups and downs of a school day. This exertion of consistent energy and focus within a school setting is exhausting. Coupled with the fact that you are their safe space, they may feel comfortable letting go of everything they have been holding onto throughout the day. But it’s okay, because you got this!

Below are nine proactive and reactive strategies for supporting your child’s after-school meltdowns.

1. Collaborative, Child Led Play Time: Provide the space and time to dedicate at least 10 minutes each day to play with your child after school. They use their need for autonomy to choose the activity and all distractions are set aside for those 10 minutes each day.
2. Consistent Routine: Establish, then lean on, the consistent after-school routine. This will help support structure and predictability.
3. SnackTime: Have a healthy snack ready. Hunger can contribute to kids being susceptible to big reactions because their tank is empty.
4. OpenCommunication: Share a rose (positive moment/activity), at horn (negative moment/activity) and a bud (something they may be looking forward to) from that day.
5. Start with Small Wins: Start with easy requests before building up to higher requests. The belief is that as children start with small and incremental positive choices, they then be more likely to respond favorably to higher level requests.
6. Teach/PracticeCopingSkills: As a family, develop 2-3 coping strategies for our big feelings. If possible, have your child practice these coping skills when they’re not dysregulated. When they are practiced at a baseline level, they are more likely to be remembered when they are dysregulated.
7. Positive Reinforcement: Find moments to verbally recognize your child’s success. You can add a level of reinforcement by adding a tangible incentive for desired behavior.
8. Seek Professional Help: If your concerns remain, feel free to reach out toy our school counselor (Mr. Taylor) or your pediatrician for help connecting with outside resources.
9. EXTRA – Track the Frequency of Meltdowns: It can be helpful to track the relevant data around a child’s behavior. An idea could be to track the behavior for 1-2 weeks, where you will note the day/time, the adult request, and the behavior. This can help paint the picture of trends or patterns associated with the behavior, which can support proactive strategies rather than reactive. This practice can also shift our perception of the problem using facts, rather than emotions.

Mr. Taylor’s September Tidbits

The beginning of the school year is off to a great start, and we are beginning to dive into our school wide social/emotional practices. Data and research indicate that when elementary students learn social and emotional skills at an early age they are more likely to have positive life outcomes. 

For the month of September, students in every class are learning about our emotional awareness tool, the Mood Meter. Because the Mood Meter has been taught schoolwide, all students are familiar with the tool. Recently, I have been teaching weekly Mood Meter lessons with our kindergarteners, supporting the great work the kindergarten team has already undertaken. October’s SEL focus will be anti-bullying and how to be an upstander.

What could the Mood Meter look like at home?

• Create your own family Mood Meter.
  • Have the Mood Meter in a place where your family can see it
  • Have fun with it, put pictures of characters or yourself in various zones of the mood meter.
  • By modeling that we all feel feelings, you are encouraging dialogue and emotional intelligence.
• Develop a menu of strategies or activities for when you feel upset.
  • Develop agreed upon coping strategies for when we do get in those uncomfortable or unpleasant feelings.
  • By modeling these strategies and openly talking about them as a family, you are equipping your child with tools they can start practicing now.

Life Skills Classes with Mr. Taylor

At B. F. Day elementary we believe that social emotional learning skills are at the heart of academic growth, thriving relationships, intentional decision making, and well-being.

This priority can be seen in the opportunity I have to teach students weekly social emotional lessons in my “life skills” class. It has been proven that teaching students these “soft skills” (empathy, problem solving, coping strategies, growth mindset etc.) build the foundation for current and future success.

In years past I visited each classroom every week to teach social emotional lessons, this year I will have my own “space” to teach our kids skills to help them cope with this ever-changing world. Like when students visit the P.E. or Art, students will receive instruction to support the development of their social and emotional skills.

I will predominately be using Committee for Children’s Second Step social-emotional curriculum. Second Step is an evidenced based curriculum that has shown to support students intrapersonal and interpersonal skills, as well as increasing academic performance! I look forward to supporting students and families this school year. In addition to doing whole class instruction I will continue to have small group sessions for our kids.

Breathing Strategies to try with your kids at home

1. With your child, stick out your right hand holding all five fingers out. Now pretend your fingers are tops of a roller coaster and the bottom of your fingers are the bottom. Using your other hand trace each finger; take a slow inhale going up the rollercoaster then a deep breath going down the roller coaster for each finger. You should have at least five “roller coaster breaths”. During my lessons with the kids we will usually finish with this strategy, so they may be able to help teach you!
2. Another strategy is using a breathing buddy. Lay on your back, put a favorite stuffed animal on your tummy, and watch that animal slowly move up and down as you inhale and exhale. Do this together — it’s playful and helpful for the whole family. From Sesame Street: Elmo Learns to belly breath.

Growth Mindset

A growth mindset is the belief that individuals who believe their talents and skills can be developed through hard work, learning from mistakes, and not giving up. This is counter to a fixed mindset, which tells us that our skills and abilities are fixed and innate. When I visit classrooms, the focus will be on the importance of continuing to try hard things (even if we don’t want to) and understanding that every time we display a growth mindset our brain “stretches” that much more. ~ John Taylor, MA Ed., School Counselor